


It's Always Been You

by camichats



Series: Imagine James and Sirius Prompts [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, Lily Ships It, M/M, Marauders' Era, Oblivious James, pining Sirius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 23:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11542737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: James has always been a romantic, but when the girl to match the story he has in mind keeps saying no, he's at a loss. She doesn't seem to like any of the things that Sirius likes, and he doesn't understand why.





	It's Always Been You

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: “Hi, I was wondering... could you write a fic in which Lily turns James down once again and maybe yells at him, and Sirius defends James because he honestly can't understand how one can not love him. And then James realizes it's always been Sirius (and maybe Lily was rejecting James because she knew Prongsfoot were meant to be)? I know it's cliché, but I'd like it :) and this is not meant to be Lily bashing or anything (I mean, I like her)... Thank you!”
> 
> Originally posted on [tumblr](https://imaginejamesandsirius.tumblr.com/post/163139242360/hi-i-was-wondering-could-you-write-a-fic-in)

For all that she had said no repeatedly, it had never occurred to James that Lily was legitimately not interested. They would be perfect together, he was convinced. It was like the ideal love story! They meet at odds, get closer as they grow, top of the class, Head Boy and Girl, and eventually realise they are great together, marry young, and have lots of children. It was the type of story that dominated sickle romance books (ahem, not that James knew what those were like).

But when James tried to explain what he was thinking to her, she didn’t react favourably. Lily gaped at him. “Are you absolutely _mental_? Yes, I’ll admit, it makes a nice story, but we don’t get on. Even if we did, we wouldn’t be dating!”

“Why not?”

Lily made an impatient noise, threw her hands in the air, and stormed off.

James stared at her retreating figure, confused. She was acting like he was missing something big, but he didn’t know what. Maybe he should get her flowers; everyone liked flowers. Well, Sirius did, and he always smiled when James gave him some.

He didn’t end up getting her flowers, partially because it would be better to ask than accidentally get her a kind she hated or was allergic to, and partially because when he asked Sirius for help with Lily in the past, he got a look on his face that said he’d rather be anywhere but there. James hated that look, so he didn’t ask Sirius’s advice, though it undoubtedly would have been helpful.

Lily blinked at him. “You want to know my favourite flower,” she said flatly.

He nodded, thinking that maybe, for once, this conversation would go right.

She leaned back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest and giving him a look.

...Then again, maybe not.

“James-- and I mean this in the nicest way possible-- you’re an imbecile.”

“Do you not like flowers?”

“Why do you want to give me flowers?” she asked, not countering, just ignoring his question.

“I thought you might like them. Sirius likes flowers, says they make the room brighter.”

“So you thought I’d like flowers because Sirius-- your best mate-- likes them.”

“Yes?”

Lily shook her head. “Unbelievable,” she muttered. “I need to finish this essay for Professor McGonagall.”

“O...kay.” He walked away, feeling reprimanded, though he didn’t know what for.

Sirius was sympathetic as always when James returned looking glum. “It’s alright mate, she’ll come around.” He’d been saying that for months, but it still inexplicably made James feel better.

“If you say so. What’re you working on?”

Sirius grinned, launching into an explanation of his motorbike and the flying charms he was currently working on, which quite frankly went over James’s head. He’d started on that mechanic’s book Sirius lent him, but wasn’t far enough in it to understand the level Sirius was talking at. It was nice to see him so passionate, though, and he didn’t mind pausing to explain the more complex parts when James asked. James made a mental note to read the book faster on the off chance he’d be able to help by the time he was through. If nothing else, he’d understand more, and Sirius would get that pleased little smile.

* * *

“You want to know _what_?” Lily asked incredulously, though not offended, so at least he wasn’t regressing.

“Your favourite type of chocolate. Flowers and chocolates are what you get the person you fancy, but you didn’t answer for flowers.”

“What type of chocolates do you get Sirius?”

“Anything with caramel,” he said immediately. When Lily raised an eyebrow pointedly, he defended, “He loves caramel, but he refuses to buy it for himself always insisting that he likes dark chocolate. I’m not about to make him live without caramel chocolate just because he’s being a stubborn arse, can you imagine how sad he’d be?” James shook his head. “It would never be worth it.”

“Mmhmm.” Lily looked like James had just proved her point, but James, as per usual with her, was completely lost.

He left a few minutes later, feeling like he’d just lost a battle he hadn’t known he was fighting and still didn’t know the cause of. _She’s certainly interesting_ , he thought as he made his way to the One-Eyed Witch statue. Sirius was about to run out of chocolate (his caramel stash, not the dark that he only touched when he was out of caramel and hated every bite of), so James figured he could get him some before he got back from Ancient Runes.

* * *

“C’mon Lily we would make a great couple.”

“We really, really wouldn’t,” she said, aggravated.

“I think that we would.” Granted it was for reasons he’d already told her, and she’d denied/ignored, but if she thought about it, she’d agree. Maybe. He was steadily losing faith in that assumption.

“No we wouldn’t! Not when one of us doesn’t care, and the other is clearly in love with their best friend even if he won’t admit it. For fuck’s sake, James ask out the person you _actually_ fancy for once!”

“I- what are you talking about?”

“Sirius! Sirius Black, your best friend, the person you spend all your time with.”

“I don’t- I don’t fancy Sirius,” he stuttered out.

“James just the other day you told me that you get flowers and chocolates for the person you fancy. You give Sirius both.”

“We’re friends,” he protested.

“Oh really? Do you get Remus and Peter those things?”

“Of course not.”

“Why ‘of course not’?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it. When he opened it again, he settled on, “Well, it’s just weird, that’s why. Why would I give them flowers?”

“Why would you give _Sirius_ flowers?”

“He likes them!” James said defensively.

“And you like giving them,” Lily said simply. “You know what, James? I don’t like things like that, these romantic gestures. You know who it _does_ sound like likes that? Consider that all of your suggestions are taken from what you know Sirius likes, so maybe you should be with someone you know, like, off the top of my head, _Sirius_.” James stared at her, dumbfounded. “Think about it.” With that, she pat him hard on the shoulder and walked away.

He walked back to Gryffindor Tower in a haze, snippets of memories from his time with Sirius flashing through his head. Sirius always- Merlin- he would light up when James gave him a gift, smile so wide, and thank him. Even when he was sad, he would smile at James like he didn’t need anyone else.

Oh gods. One day, all the Marauders were feeling silly, wanted harmless fun with each other in the rare, shining sun. Peter collected hundreds of daisies somehow, and they all played. Remus and Peter did some muggle pastime of linking them to make daisy chains while Sirius and James tickled each other’s noses, seeing how long they could last before they broke (they scarcely went past a few seconds so the game didn’t go on very long). When the two of them were done, James sat on his knees behind Sirius, and started braiding daisies in his hair. It wasn’t a disaster because it was far from the first time James had done this, and he was glad. The neat braids made Sirius look like a god, the white petals shining against his black hair, all of it highlighted in yellow. James took a picture with Sirius’s muggle camera, and it was easily his favourite photograph. He’d caught Sirius with his head tilted back to look at James, but his eyes were closed from the sun, and his nose was scrunched up in a full-body laugh at some quip James had made (he remembered it was specifically to try and get that expression). Peter and Remus had even done the ‘loves me-loves me not’ game to them and James had just rolled his eyes and said _of course_ he loved Sirius, don’t be ridiculous.

But now it was like he’d looked around and realised that, yes, the walls of Hogwarts were made of stone. It wasn’t a realisation necessarily, but he hadn’t thought of it before no matter how obvious it was to everyone else, including the wall.

He was in love with Sirius.

He’d been in love with Sirius for years, had been acting on it, and never fucking noticed it before. Well now he was noticing, and he didn’t want to spend another buggering second without having talked to Sirius about it.

Sirius was in the decently filled common room, sitting in the armchair he and James had transfigured and stuck to the ground in third year, a book Flitwick had given him on professional charms in his lap as he read. No one was nearby, so he didn’t need to ask Sirius to another room to talk. James sat on the ground in front of him, leaning his cheek on Sirius’s knee when he moved the book for James. He immediately half-closed the book, setting it to the side as he looked down at James, grinning and carding his free hand through James’s hair.

“I love you,” James said.

“I know. I love you too.”

“No, that’s not--” James turned his face down, wincing when his glasses dug into his face. Impatiently, he pulled them off and put his head back where it was, looking at Sirius again. He was close enough that James could see him clearly without his glasses, and he adored moments like this. Something about having a filter between him and Sirius felt wrong. “I’m in love with you.”

Sirius wasn’t smiling anymore, instead frowning slightly in confusion. “I know.”

“You know?” he said, taken aback, no longer resting his head on Sirius.

“You aren’t exactly subtle, mate,” he said with an uneasy half-smile.

“You’re in love with me too.” He was thinking and saying it for the first time yet knew intrinsically that it was true.

“Well,” Sirius shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah. I dunno why you’re bringing it up all of a sudden. When you started pursuing Lily, I thought we had an unspoken agreement to ignore it. I don’t know what universe you’re traveling in James, but this is the opposite of ignoring it.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t know.” When Sirius gave him a confused look, he continued in sputtering starts and stops. “You- I never thought about it. I didn’t know I felt that way about you. Or that you felt that way about me. I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t have done that.”

“You didn’t know,” Sirius repeated, an edge of disbelief in his voice, but not like he thought James was lying. “Are you bloody _kidding me_?” He let go of his book, and it tumbled to the ground with a thump that neither of them heeded.

James shook his head. “I’m sorry. Can we start? Now? Please?”

Sirius grabbed him by the front of his robes and wrenched him in, pressing a long overdue kiss to James’s lips. “I-” kiss “cannot-” kiss “believe-” kiss “you didn’t-” kiss “ _know_.” He kissed him again, opening his mouth against James’s in an invitation that was eagerly accepted. “Everyone in the whole bloody _castle_ knew, and you didn’t. Do you have any idea what it’s like to tell people that no, we’re not fighting, we didn’t break up, you’re just asking Lily out? _Any idea_ , Jamie?”

“Can’t say I do,” he said breathlessly, addicted to the kisses Sirius was giving him so frequently as if to catch up on all the ones they missed.

“Out of curiosity,” Sirius said, looking pleased about his effect on James, “what made you realise?”

James grimaced. “Lily sort of… shouted it at me.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she channeled Merlin himself to get through your thick skull.”

“Me either.” James kissed him again. “Can I keep buying you flowers? And chocolates? And playing with your hair?”

“It’s required, Prongs, how dare you imply otherwise.”

James beamed at him, already calculating how many gladiolus were in the UK that he could buy Sirius by the weekend.

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a prompt driven blog at [imaginejamesandsirius](https://imaginejamesandsirius.tumblr.com) on tumblr! Drop by, send in a prompt if you want ;)


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